Video Game Controller

Congratulations, More Dumb People With Video Game Controllers

From CNN:

YORK, Pennsylvania (AP) — A 2-year-old girl died after being beaten with a video game controller by her mother’s boyfriend, and new charges are expected, police said Tuesday.

Darisabel Baez died Monday. Her mother’s boyfriend said he beat the 2-year-old but didn’t explain why, police said.

Darisabel Baez was pronounced dead late Monday at Hershey Medical Center, police Lt. Ron Camacho said.

The girl’s mother, Neida E. Baez, 19, called for an ambulance Sunday, saying her boyfriend, Harve L. Johnson, had brought the unconscious child to her, limp and wet from an attempt to revive her in a bathtub, a police affidavit said.

Read more about Derek’s congratulations at Ask Gary Dot Org

You know what? I’m tired of hearing about these stories. It’s a shame the media has more sad, depressing stories than fun, uplifting ones. It’s an ever-growing problem in our country only because the people feed the media with their problems.

With that, let me dish out a few congratulations to a special someone.

Congratulations, Harve Johnson, for successfully beating and killing your girlfriend’s baby girl. You really showed her, didn’t you? Give me a break.

Congratulations, Harve Johnson, for being the scum of the earth. Maybe, you felt you needed to further cement yourself in the depths of the hated. Next time (if there is one), find a different way.

Congratulations, Harve Johnson, you can now play your video games in peace and quiet. Did you get your double kill in Halo 3? Or, did you get the master achievement record you’ve been working toward?

Congratulations, Harve Johnson, you just proved to the world you’re a lazy ass bum. Next time, put your controller down for a minute and give your daughter some attention. It must’ve been too hard.

Finally, congratulations, Harve Johnson, you just received a pre-release version of the next-generation video game “Prison: From Riches to Rags”. Let’s hope you never touch a video game controller again.

About the Author

Derek is the webmaster of Ask Gary Dot Org, a place where you can ask Gary questions on any topic and get a great answer back within a few hours. He writes on his blog regularly with issues ranging from humor to politics.

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